If it wasn’t for you
It’s hard to study when I’m not motivated. Half of my friends are like, I gave up on studying. Whatever. Yolo and the other half are the quiet ones, who actually study because they know it’ll be worth it in the future. Half of me want to give up and the other half wants to continue. Who can motivate me though? A lot of my close friends wished me luck but I still feel motivation-less. *Sigh*
If i reply “I’m fine” then you’re probably not someone who I would want to share my misery to. Why? Because chances are you ain’t gon give a fuck. You only ask because you’re curious, not because you care. In my opinion, there’s no point in wasting time to rant to someone who’s just curious. I rather share my problems with a friend who actually care and take notice in every single little details. Not that I dislike you for asking if i’m okay. It’s nice of you to ask but don’t expect anything out of me if i’m not close to you.
I never had a one on one tutor with anyone before due to my short attention span. I tend to doze off often. But lately I’ve been staying after school to get tutored with math. I mean, I am glad to have a friend who’s rank 12 out of the whole Nevada.
He was hungry after school but he had to stay for me. I felt like a nuisance to him since I don’t like to bother people. He doesn’t seem to mind since we always joke around here and there. We’d talk about college, future or just random shit. I’m happy that he laughs at my oh so super lame jokes. I’m hella comfortable around him :D
He tries his best to explain problems. He won’t stop until i figure out how to solve them. I respect him a lot, i hope he knows that. It’s hard for someone to put up with me, esp in tutor. He has a lot of patience which made it easy to tutor me. he also gave me a ride home too. One day I’m going to repay him. I promise.
We had an assignment where we had to write a poem for a friend in class. I had no idea on who to write it too. I had 5 options but I decided to pick a random friend. People wrote about how they first met and how their friendships will last forever. But me, I wanted to write about that girl’s personality. I wanted to tell her that her smile is beautiful and so is herself. After hours of brainstorming, I decided to compare her and her smile to the sun and the moon. It was an okay poem, i mean i could do better.
But one of my favorite line from that poem is
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, thee shall remain one of the best to me.
I turned it in so I don’t remember what i wrote. I’ll edit this once i get it back (:
Going through old texts is like a rewind of all your long memories in only a few minutes. Finally, deleted them all.
I guess you shouldn’t force something that’s not meant to be.
I planned to take a long walk alone but ended up walking with 8 other people. Chatting and getting to know them. Man, this girl my age is hella girly and talkative. There’s so many kids and this white guy that can speak viet :3
After a round, they went in the house and i decided to walk more. Sat on a big rock, stared into the desert and watched the sun set for about 30 minutes. On my way home, i broke off a flower and started to take off each petals with the “yes & no” shit. NAWMEAN. The first one ended with a yes. So i was like, ima try another one just to make sure. The 2nd one ended with a yes as well. Hmmm, I guess that answered my question.
I got home but ended up in the backyard on the swing for another 20 minutes. Now i’m just…calm as fuck lmao.